I just wanted to thank you for that wonderful game of “chicken” we shared a few nights ago.
When I saw you both charging down the street at full speed straight at our oncoming motorbike, I was sure it was just a silly joke. What were these goofy cats up to? Haha… get off the road…
Within seconds, I come to the scary realization that shit was real, and you guys were goin’ for broke. Especially when I veered off to the right a bit to avoid you bozos. Nope, couldn’t leave it there. You had to show who was in charge, so you veer to your left and keep the game going.
It wasn’t until you, oh-mighty leader white/grey cat, smacked my front wheel broadside, turning your body into a makeshift wheel chock, as I try to brake to a stop before killing you, thus causing the scooter to come to a full stop and capsize, that I realized I made the wrong call.
I should have just kept going straight, and let you boneheads get creamed by my wheels.
But see, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I happen to love cats. I’m always looking out for you guys wherever I am. Way more so than dogs, though I do look out for them somewhat too (ask me about the puppies we saved in Croatia next time we meet up!).
That’s right, I’m proud to say that I’ve helped and saved more cats than I can count over the course of my life, you’re welcome.
And this is the thanks that I get from you and your species?? Really? :/
You’ll also be happy to know that the incident gave my rib cage the pleasure of smacking the gravelly pavement with the force of a three-story freefall.
I’ll tell ya what… Thanks to the blinding pain, I do believe that I hit a new record high octave in the course of my wailing, due to its immeasurably piercing intensity. Oh, and the road rash on my elbow and knee were a nice touch too.
You’ll also be happy to know that my slight, diminutive and delicate sweetheart who was riding with me, managed to somehow fly off the bike with the grace of a ballerina/ninja.
She landed in such a way that she incurred but a tiny scuff on her left palm, and possibly a broken nail.
And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy about that. But seriously, what the hell was that about? Why should I have to bear all the pain and misery outta this deal?
Oh, and before I forget, also thanks for re-aggravating my nagging shoulder injury that’s been plaguing since what we call the “Vietnam Mishap” four months ago. That was when we got sideswiped and clipped by another idiot (a human one that time) while trying to make a legal turn.
And I was just finally starting to feel the pain go down too. Heck, I was even getting some of my range of motion back. So much for that.
So yeah, thanks for totally screwing that up too.
I also want to thank you profusely for the most excellent ambulance ride that I got to enjoy
I certainly enjoyed being tossed around the back while strapped to a rather uncomfortable backboard. Which incidentally wasn’t even secured to anything fixed. That just made the already thrilling ride even more of a hoot. I’m just glad I wasn’t really injured from our little
The unscathed riding mate even got to enjoy a few laughs at my expense. Thanks mostly to the possibility that I might just fly out the rear end every time the hatch door flung open and the vehicle bucked me into mid-air after hitting yet another pothole. That was exciting stuff, she had quite the laughfest. So yeah, much appreciated!
Also, thanks for both of you somehow surviving the whole incident without apparently any fatal injuries, at least far as we can tell. Especially you, lead cat. Because the way I remember it, you smacked into my front wheel pretty good.
FYI, the ER visit was surreal, yet brief. No broken bones according to my “fresh-out-of-med-school” doctor and the hijab-clad nurses. And I’m pretty sure that the X-ray tech was also the hospital janitor and lightbulb changer.
By the way, we went back to the scene later that night after my brief but memorable ER visit was over to retrieve the scooter. We took a look around to see if we can find your carcasses or at least some bloody remnants on the road. Tsk… none were to be found.
Maybe the locals cleaned up the mess after I was shuttled off in the Bronco meat wagon, you never know.
But my guess (and hope) is that you’re probably nursing a pretty painful limp, and your head got smacked up pretty good. Maybe you learned a thing or two.
I’d say I’m sorry, but hey let’s face it. It’s your fault.
You and your cohort had plenty of opportunity to just keep running like maniacs on the street, while staying well to my left.
Which need I remind you… means that you WON the chicken game?!
See how that works? I veered off FIRST. That means I LOST. I don’t know, maybe the rules are different in Thailand, I should google it.
In any case, please accept my sincerest appreciation for this memorable if-not-totally-avoidable incident. I can assure you that your memorable gift just keeps on giving in the form of nagging pain every time I breathe out of sync, cough, sneeze, sit in the wrong position or even slightly misstep while walking. I’ve consumed more ibuprofen in the last week than I probably have my whole life, and I used to get migraines!
I can only hope that you and your cohort are experiencing some degree of nagging yet non-fatal pain on your end too.
In any case, be warned. Try that shit again with me and you’re road pizza.